Friday, 13 November 2009

A Child’s Innocence, lost?

Who decides? This week the school informed me it will be hosting meetings for parents who wish to know what will be taught during the Sexual Relations Education (SRE) classes at the school, for form classes 2, 5 and 6. My son is in year 6, having started state school for the first time last December, I am still learning. When my children started last year it was on the day the SRE classes were being taught as the permission slips and meetings had already taken place, I had missed out. So on their first day of school when the year 2 comes home. I asked, ‘’what did you learn today?’’

She replies:- ‘’ It was haram?! They showed us pictures of women’s private parts and men ones too!’’

‘’Authobillah! What do you mean?’’ (my worries manifesting before my very eyes on day one)

Son joins conversation ‘’yeah umi they did it for us too, they told us we have wet dreams and then he whispered... but girls are worse !?! :O they have blood coming out of their private parts.’’

My shock horror of their first day of school, all those years of home schooling and their innocence snatched in 6 hours! Robbed I tell you!?!
Yesterday was the SRE meeting for this year, I was shown the content of all 3 lessons and all I can say I was.. I was shocked, disgusted and angry. I cannot believe that ten year old children are ready for this revelation of this information that will scar their innocence at the tender age of ten. I feel it should be the parent’s choice to decide what age all she be revealed, there is no way my 10 year old son is ready for this amount of info, it also gives a incorrect impression on how sexual relationships can be formed, there was a video showing the actual acts and steps... first comes love. Then they actually make love! It showed sexual positions and promoted sexual relations before marriage. This here is what angered me severely, seeing as this contradicts our beliefs and way of life which is clearly Islam. The school my children attend is majority ethnic minorities namely Asian and African with the predominant religion being Islam. With this in mind i challenge the headmistress, enquiring why arrange marriages’ had not been mentioned. They have their own hidden agenda that they instil into our children Allah Al Must’aan. I felt it was a total saturation of Western values in relation to sex being in drenched on the minds of innocent children. Teaching them this is the way, in the video one of the characters was the aunt of the 10yr old, she was in relationship with a guy and she was expecting his baby. This aunt was very open to the 10yr olds telling them she enjoyed being touched by her lover and he enjoyed her touching him. She kept rubbing her breast whilst doing so , i think it was meant to look like she was rubbing her impregnated stomach but i clearly saw her touching her breast.

Some may think it’s an overreaction on my part but NO, my children are a trust, entrusted to me by Allah and i have a duty to ensure they are raised in accordance to Islam and good citizens to the society they inhabit. I noted not only Muslim parents at the meeting; there were English and Africans, Christian, Sikh, and atheist too. In fact the Sikh parent got up and left half way through the video. I myself wanted to leave during the video, I was disgusted. I feel this kind of exposure too early could lead to experimentation and unnecessary curiosity. I am not saying they should not know about their body parts and the functions. Reproduction and the like, it should be taught and can be taught minus the sexual content. It’s the amount to sexual promotion and sexual promotion outside marriage what ruined it. I have a 15yr old that i taught SRE to at the age of 10 as i feel in my experience girls mature much faster than boys. At ten she was ready for this input but i can see my son is not, in a year or so yes but not quite yet. It can be taught on a scientific level without so much emphasis on sexual relationship and positions. As one parent pointed out, ’’ you are showing them stage by stage the correct way to reproduce!’’

I decided to not have the school teach these lesions to my son and opted out alhamduilah we still have that right. I told him I will teach him 3 lesions covering this so he does not feel left out but I will use a scientific approach in addition will also use ayat from the Quran to explain relationships in this content and ayat related to reproduction.

Bearing in mind the UK is a country where teenage pregnancy is at its youngest in all of Europe, the headmistress argued that children knowing this information at 10 years old is deterrent to this. This is left open to debate...................what’s your opinion on this?


Fruitful Fusion said...

Assalaamu Alaykum,

I am 100% with you on this sis! There is no way I'd agree to having my kids sit through one of those "lessons"!!! Something as sensitive as this has to be taught by Mum in my opinion. That way you decide when and how you want to explan things to them. Honesty is key and reference to Allah's Word and examples of the sunnah are vital. Although I've taken a step towards educating one of my children on sexual matters, it's a little easier for me because I know that she will cover it in her Fiqh class this year. But I know how it will be taught and I'm happy with supplementing it if I need to at home.

Laila said...

It sounds unbelievably graphic! There is just no need to teach positions and all that!

I totally agree that the way it's currently taught creates the expectation to have sex without marriage, and that's a problem for people of any faith. At the very least kids should be encouraged to think for themselves about what is the appropriate relationship context. In Holland that's how it's done, and despite how liberal the culture is, kids actually wait longer on average. Here in the UK the educators focus on not sounding judgmental, or not trying to tell kids what to do or not to do, because they think the kids will do stuff anyway and they might not seek advice about protection etc if they feel judged. So basically the kids just learn that it's expected that they start having sex. So sad.

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