Missing The Past

owww it hurts I don't know why but I find this time of year I get extremly home sick subhan Allah. Its places , thoughts, smells,foods, and feelings that spring to mind, throughtout the day images appear in my mind to torment me of a place a memory. Then i know this is home sickness for sure , suddenly nothing tastes good here, everything becomes a chore, i can't be bothered , i battle with my emtions to remind myself , that life is now past and i need to find new comforts , new memories , new smells, new feelings here , for now i recall only pain. Not to say there have no been happy times , there have but the pain dominates my memories here so far. so I am kinda moping around just putting on a smile for others , dont want to spread my gloom to all esp the kids, making the effort for the sake of Allah knowing

WITH HARDSHIP COMES EASEAnd, behold, with every hardship comes ease. Verily, with every hardship comes ease! Hence, when thou art freed [from distress], remain steadfast, and to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.Holy Quran, Chapter 94, Verses 5-8

and belive me this is true as alhamduilah in the past i have exiperenced the effects of this ayat (verse), its only we loose hope!

I went to visit my sister who was crying

I mangage to get out to see the sister who has been crying for 2.5yrs now, isolated and lonely in her shell. Almost abandoned , the visit i felt was a great sucess for all , another sister Emma (not real name), went with me , who herself has and is suffering. Why are the sisters suffering so much in Algeria? There is no support in place and Algeria can be a pretty lonely place esp for the ex pat community , who have a different culture and no family support, often no friends. The emman subsides and that opens a way for shatan to have a ever tightening hold on the person. Lonelyness is a state of illness, that hurts. Ever felt your surrounded by so many people but your still lonely? your emman is still low? We all need encouragement and good role models esp when we feel we are no more....................

Everyone Seems To Feel Tierd

It seems eveyone in the household is sleep deprive here this last week , Why ? Stress, Exams i just don't know seems to be adult and kids alike, two couldn't get up for schoool and are in bed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so i decided to let them sleep it off for the morning and catch up on the sleep they need! Now sleep is very imprtant for various reason here are some:

Six reasons not to scrimp on sleep, from Harvard Women’s Health Watch
BOSTON—A recent survey found that more people are sleeping less than six hours a night, and sleep difficulties visit 75% of us at least a few nights per week. A short-lived bout of insomnia is generally nothing to worry about. The bigger concern is chronic sleep loss, which can contribute to health problems such as weight gain, high blood pressure, and a decrease in the immune system’s power, reports the Harvard Women’s Health Watch.
While more research is needed to explore the links between chronic sleep loss and health, it’s safe to say that sleep is too important to shortchange.
The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:
Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.
Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.
Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.
Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.
Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.
Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

What does Islam say about the importance of sleep?

sura nabaa(the great news)no. 78 (verses 6-16)
6. "have we not made the earth as a (wide) expanse?"7. "and the mountains as pegs"8. "and we created you in pairs,"9. "and we made your sleep for repose,"10. "and we made the night as a covering"11. "and we made the day for (seeking) livelihood,"12. "and we built above you seven firmaments"13. "and we made (therein) a blazing lamp,"14. "and we sent down from the clouds water in abundance"15. "that we may bring forth thereby grain and plants,"16. "and gardens of luxurious growth?"
thus, the term "subat" narrowly refers to the stopping of most of man's physical and mental activities when he sleeps. the very temporary stopping of activity causes refreshment and improvement for the tired organs, strengthening the soul and the body, renewing one's pleasure, removing any fatigue and uneasiness, and consequently, making man ready to start working again.though one-third of the human beings' lifetime is occupied by sleep and they have always been entangled with the question of `dreams', still they wonder about the mysteries of sleep. even yet, it is not exactly known why that at a special moment the mind fails to work well, the eyelids droop and all the limbs come to a peaceful state. but, one thing is definitely known and that is: sleep is of great importance to one's health, and that is why psychiatrists try to make their patients' sleep normally and regularly, because it is impossible to cure them without it.those who do not sleep enough are pale, withered, nervous, and dull. on the contrary, those who sleep normally, when they rise they feel, in themselves, much pleasure and vitality. after a tranquil sleep, study progresses very quickly and mental activity and physical endeavors are often more successful. these facts show the important functional role of sleep in man's life. there are few tortures, for a person, that are as painful as compulsory sleeplessness. experiments have shown that man's tolerance for lack of sleep is very little and soon he loses his health and becomes sick. the aforementioned statements about the importance of sleep mean, of course., a balanced sleep, because, over sleeping, like gluttony, is one of the graceless behaviors which causes various sicknesses. it is interesting that there is not a certain time limit for the natural length of sleep in all persons, but everyone should find the amount of sleep that one needs regarding his physical and mental activities and according to one's own experience. and stranger still is when human beings are placed in a difficult situation where they must stay awake for a long time. their perseverance for sleeplessness increases, temporarily, so that sometimes they decrease their sleep to one or two hours, but it has often happened that when the circumstances have changed, man, both spiritually and bodily, has demanded the recompense of that sleeplessness and has taken it back. there are, of course, a few rare individuals who are able to go without continuous sleep, for months at a time. in contrast, there are some people who fall asleep even when they are walking on the street or when they are speaking with another person. surely, this state is very dangerous for them, especially if there would be no one to look after them. obviously, these kinds of people are sick and sooner or later they will be faced with physical and spiritual difficulties. in short, this wonderful characteristic, which appears in man and is called `sleep', contains many mysteries and is perceived as a 'miracle''. although the above mentioned verse is about `sleep', as a divine blessing, it seems that death, and wakefulness could, also, symbolize resurrection, so the verse could be a hint to both of them. then, again, concerning sleep, it speaks about the blessing of`night' and says: "and we made the night as a covering". following immediately after that, it says: "and we made the day for (seeking) livelihood". contrary to the duelists (because of being uninformed about the secrets of creation, where they thought that the light of day is good and the darkness of night is evil and they believed in a separate god, for both of them, while thinking that the former originated from `god' and the latter from satan) we should give a bit more thought to it, then we will recognize that both of them are great blessings and are the origin of other blessings, as well. according to the above verses, the gloom of night is a cloth and covering over the body of the earth and over all living creatures residing on it. night, compulsorily, stops the exhausting activities of the life and makes the gloom of darkness, which is actually peace, calmness, and tranquillity, dominate over everything in order to give the tired limbs a chance to recover and the gloomy spirit a chance to revive, since a good and quiet sleep is more likely to be obtained in the dark. besides this, when night comes, the sunshine disappears. if the sun were to shine continuously, all plants and animals would die from its heat, and the earth could not be a dwelling place for them. for the same reason, the holy qur'an has frequently emphasized on this matter. once, it says: "say, see you? if allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the day of judgment, what god is there other than allah who can give you a night in which you can rest?..." (sura qasas, no. 28, verse 72). and after that it adds: "it is out of his mercy that he has made for you night and day, that you may rest therein, and that you may seek of his grace...", (sura qasas no 28, verse 73).

Pain

I have had a pain in my chest pretty much all day today on the right side above the breast, its a shap pain and when i inhale i hurts. Its moving up my neck and to my shoulders , i feel tierd ,ratty and exgusted. It's called STRESS subhan Allah any pointers anyone to defuse and relax?

finally found a coat

I have been looking for a suitable winter coat for a long time now, i wear a cape styled head scarf that comes down below my knees i found wearing a coat over it defeted the puropse of the hijab, in the sense the garment is now tight and describing my body shape, not to mention the tightness around the arms and chest with the material of the cape head scarf. Also the creasing of the head scarf when removing it. I opted for wearing tight fitting cardigans under it but these are not warm enough on bitterley cold days, I think its been about 4 years i have been like this , until Ammena on her blog posted about a place she shops online Here and i had a look as the clothes there are really nice but expensive, good for the working woman modest conservative clothing yet stylish. It was also the time of the January sales ,boy do i miss the sales :( well this place has some items on sale and guess what i found a coat!!!! more in the form of a poncho

so witout further hesitation I purchased it !!! I now have it here in Algeria with me alhamduillah , its mashaAllah so lovely , warm and classy,fabric is wool fleece, only down side is it collects fluff. i noted it was made in Syria, i just love it, do you like it ?

Thinking In Life

I had a very special guest over for the last 12 days , so I was not visiting here much, time was limited. I am just thinking about life , all those painful moments , those moments when you have made the wrong choices , events beyond your control. Thinking & feeling is this pain ever going to stop!!!! Will i get through this , what ? when ?who ? why? Then time elapses and weeks , months , years later its just a mere memory .................those grey clouds have dispersed and is that a rainbow emerged in the sky? Any of that sound familiar well i have been doing some thinking and thanking Allah really, as Islam , being a practicing muslimah has helped me so much with such issues in my life , that i know without Allah and my faith would never have handled half as well as i did, also its that feeling of contentment, its a spiritual feeling that i can't explain , my heart is at peace when i am close to my Lord, i feel humble , yet this feeling is a beautiful feeling , a priceless feeling, a feeling of inner and outer peace ..............felt it anyone? also the blessing of time , if time was to stand still the pain would be relived again and again perhaps , the moving of time is a blessing , using of time wisely is a must , when you are in pain , in time you will feel better and the painful time that was once will become a mere memory.

My Sisters Cry

The last week or so have been testing in more ways than one subhanAllah. A sister who i am not necessarliy close to , rang me in pieces , crying , hysterical , depressed and basically suffering some sort of malfunction. I felt helpless as i am without a car or ability to visit her , when i know all my sister (in faith ) needed was to see a freindly face and a hug aswell as a long chat! This won't take away her worry but it will ease her situation abit inshaAllah. Allah Al Must'aan, sometimes we feel helpless but knowing that Allah is the only one who can put the situation right , so we embarked upon dua too much dua, i always say 'never underestimate the power of dua.' I took the decision to involve others to help as she is their sister too, when one person hurts the whole ummah should ache too. At the end of the day who wants to help can and who does not does not , i am not here to judge anyone that is Allah and you do it to please Allah for reward inshaAllah. There are little thoughful ways in which we can help and rememebr not everyone is so blessed to have caring people around them, not everyone has a family , not everyone is strong , not everyone can deal with there hardships alone.
You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allâh, but if you persevere patiently, and become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2) then verily, that will be a determining factor in all affairs, and that is from the great matters, [which you must hold on with all your efforts]. (Aali Imran 3:186)
How many times do you say to yourself, subhna'allah, I should call that sister or at least send an email. Let me pay her a visit, drop off something to lift her spirit. Give some money, food or clohing. Share a book from my library. Invite her to a halaqah, teach her Qu'ran. Or share a smile and listen quietly. But you don't. Maybe you forget. Maybe you get busy. Or maybe you thought, well insha'allah another sister will/has/should. But could it be everyone else thought the same as you? And there she is, your sister..still waiting...Did you really hear her cry?You get word, you hear and you know. But you mute out the sound. Will your open up your ears? Your eyes? Your heart? Will you respond to your sisters call? SUGGESTED ACTIONS: ~ Purify your intention Actions are by intentions....(1) ~ Make dua for your sister There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the Angels do not say: The same be for you too. (2) ~ Give words of encouragement. Tell her to never despair of Allah's Mercy."The deen is sincerity..." (3) ~ Write her a letter or email with the suras or hadiths that can aid her with her situation. This is something she can re-read and gain benefit from again, insha'allah ~ Make dinner for her family~ Care for her children, while she takes time to nuture herself or run an errand ~ Visit your sister when sick "The rights of a Muslim upon another muslim are six...when he is ill he visits him.."(4) ~ Rush to give charity Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Book 24: Volume 9, Book 93, Number 525y: Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "If somebody gives in charity something equal to a date from his honestly earned money ----for nothing ascends to Allah except good---- then Allah will take it in His Right (Hand) and bring it up for its owner as anyone of you brings up a baby horse, till it becomes like a mountain." Abu Huraira said: The Prophet. sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Nothing ascends to Allah except good." ~ Have a long hand Translation of Sahih Bukhari Book 24, Number 501: Narrated 'Aisha: Some of the wives of the Prophet asked him, "Who amongst us will be the first to follow you (i.e. die after you)?" He said, "Whoever has the longest hand." So they started measuring their hands with a stick and Sauda's hand turned out to be the longest. (When Zainab bint Jahsh died first of all in the caliphate of 'Umar), we came to know that the long hand was a symbol of practicing charity, so she was the first to follow the Prophet and she used to love to practice charity. (Sauda died later in the caliphate of Muawiya). ~ If you give her items of clothing or household goods, make sure they are clean and in good condition. This way the recipient feels good about accepting and it shows your consideration ~ Do not remind her in the future of any good deeds you may have done for her Al-Baqarah - 2:264O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allâh, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with what they have earned. And Allâh does not guide the disbelieving people. (Al-Baqarah 2:264) ~ Maintain her confidences ~ Remain anonymous if able (you can always just mail a money order, gift certificate for the local supermarket or store like walmart, sears ,drop a box of produce or other items on the stoop..etc) ...a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (5) ~ Encourage others to do the same A believer is like a brick for another believer, the one supporting the other.(6) Insha'allah I hope I have said a good word, and that we are open to aid our sisters anyway we are able. I'm sure I have overlooked something, so would be happy to hear what you have done, or what you know others have done, when they responded to an Amatullah's cry. With that I leave you with this final hadith: Translation of Sahih Muslim, Book 5: Book 005, Number 2219: Mundhir b. Jarir reported on the authority of his father: While we were in the company of the Messenger of Allah in the early hours of the morning, some people came there (who) were barefooted, naked, wearing striped woollen clothes, or cloaks, with their swords hung (around their necks). Most of them, nay, all of them, belonged to the tribe of Mudar. The colour of the face of the Messenger of Allah underwent a change when he saw them in poverty. He then entered (his house) and came out and commanded Bilal (to pronounce Adhan). He pronounced Adhan and Iqima, and he (the Holy Prophet) observed prayer (along with his Companion) and then addressed (them reciting verses of the Holy Qur'an): '" 0 people, fear your Lord, Who created you from a single being" to the end of the verse," Allah is ever a Watcher over you" (iv. 1). (He then recited) a verse of Sura Hashr:" Fear Allah. and let every soul consider that which it sends forth for the morrow and fear Allah" (lix. 18). (Then the audience began to vie with one another in giving charity.) Some donated a dinar, others a dirham, still others clothes, some donated a sa' of wheat, some a sa' of dates; till he (the Holy Prophet) said: (Bring) even if it is half a date. Then a person from among the Ansar came there with a money bag which his hands could scarcely lift; in fact, they could not (lift). Then the people followed continuously, till I saw two heaps of eatables and clothes, and I saw the face of the Messenger (may peace be upon him) glistening, like gold (on account of joy). The Messenger of Allah said: He who sets a good precedent in Islam, there is a reward for him for this (act of goodness) and reward of that also who acted according to it subsequently, without any deduction from their rewards; and he who sets in Islam an evil precedent, there is upon him the burden of that, and the burden of him also who acted upon it subsequently, without any deduction from their burden.References1. From Umar ibn al-Khattaab who said that Allah's Messenger sallahu alayhi wa sallam said: Actions are by intentions and there is for every person only that which is intended so he whose migration was for Allah and His messenger, then his migration was for Allaah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to attain some wordly goal or to take a woman in marriage, then his migration was for that which he migrated. Muslim vol #3 p. 1056 #4692 2. Abu Dharr reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the Angels do not say: The same be for you too. Muslim Book 035, Number 6588: 3. From Tameem ad-Daaree (radiyallaahu 'anhu) who said that Allah's Messenegr sallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "The deen is sincerity. The deen is sincerity." We asked to whom O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied, To Allaah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk." Muslim #55 vol 1 pg 37 #984. From Aboo Hurairah (radiyallaahu 'anhu) who said that Allaah's Messenger said: The rights of a Muslim upon another Muslim are six. Tehy asked, "What are they O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "When he meets him he greets him with salaam, when he invites him he responds, when he asks for his sincere advise he sincerely advises him, whjen he sneezes and prises Allaah he asks for Allaah's Mercy for him, when he is ill he visits him, and when he dies he accompanies him (i.e his funeral). Reported by Muslim #2162 (vol 3. p 1183 no. 5379)5. Volume 8, Book 82, Number 798: Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Seven (people) will be shaded by Allah by His Shade on the Day of Resurrection when there will be no shade except His Shade. (They will be), a just ruler, a young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, a man who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears, a man whose heart is attached to mosques (offers his compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque), two men who love each other for Allah's Sake, a man who is called by a charming lady of noble birth to commit illegal sexual intercourse with her, and he says, 'I am afraid of Allah,' and (finally), a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given." 6. Abu Musa reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer is like a brick for another believer, the one supporting the other.Muslim, Book 032, Number 6257:

Corporal Punishment In Algerian Schools

Today , well the last 4months have been a big headache as my lil girlie (aged 6yrs old) started school for the first time ever as she was homeschooled prior to that. She was so excited and really happy to be attending full time instituanal education , her dreams were soon to be shattered abelit an abusive teacher, who just can't help herself , she slaps , pulls hair , throws things at the these lil babies , why ? beacause she has got problems , at home , in her marriage , whatever , why is she bring them to school , she is ruining my childs schooling, the child cry's every morning , every eveing , at every oppurtunity at the mention of school. I have been to see the teacher twice and the head once and asked for the abuse to kindly stop!!!! Now what? it has not stopped , the child is having tantrums and this morning was too much , no more , i cant take it anymore , whats wrong with these people , do i have to go in heavy handed , is this the only language they understand? i decided after 2 warnings the teacher has not got it into her head that she can not beat my child or any other , so i decided to change the class, when i asked the head to do so , he said i was actually thinking of letting this teacher go 9the class i wanted to change to ) as she is far to abusive to the kids and i have had so much complaints!!!!!!! well that was the icing on the cake for me , so my lil girlie is better of getting slapped up by this abuser as she abuses less than the other. Allah al Must'aan , decided to google and see what came up subhan allah was suprised to see 10 pages all about abuses in Algeria hers a report seems its commonly used in the home so it is part of the norm , what ever happened to these peoples fear of Allah? here is a study by UNICEF and read for yourself , now i remeber getting beats at school as a child , the slipper was around in them days and the cane but i mean the slaps and poking and pulling hair of the record , i had 3 horrid teachers who did this to me and that was in London ,UK.
Following the end of a bloody civil conflict that dragged on for more that a decade, Algeria has made progress toward peace and stability in recent years. The government is working with UNICEF to create a protective environment for children. But violence remains a serious issue in schools and in the home.
Issues facing children in Algeria
The nutritional status of young children has not improved since 2002.
A study conducted by the Ministry of Education in collaboration with UNICEF revealed that corporal punishment is still commonly practiced in schools. Violence in schools is associated with learning difficulties and early dropouts.
School completion rates are declining. In 2005, some 500,000 teens dropped out.
A recent study on child labour revealed that more than a quarter of children are working. Many rural children work with their parents.
It is estimated that 1 out of every 20 children abuses tobacco, alcohol or drugs.
Institutional challenges in departments such as the Ministries of Health and Education have hampered the implementation of some initiatives for children. Ambitious plans to introduce maternal care and universal education for girls and boys have yet to be fulfilled.
Activities and results for children
Infant and maternal mortality rates continue to decline. Mothers and children now enjoy wider access to medical care and improved services.
Immunization coverage against the primary childhood diseases is above 80 per cent.
UNICEF and its partners are promoting water conservation in arid regions, including the Tindouf refugee camps.
Significant strides have been made to ensure that girls realize their right to an education. In the last few years, almost two thirds of high-school diploma candidates were girls.
UNICEF and the Ministry of Education have developed a new national policy that will create early childhood education programmes for children from ages three to six.
The “Child-Friendly Schools” initiative has been launched in some 40 schools. These schools aim to provide a stimulating, healthy and supportive environment for learning.
Some 650 educators have attended training sessions on strategies for preventing violence in schools.
With UNICEF support, the Ministry of Family and Women has developed a National Plan of Action for women and children affected by violence. Standard procedures and a reliable support system have been created to respond more effectively to individual cases.
UNICEF is assisting the Ministry of Justice in the implementation of a new Child Protection Code.
Algerian National Radio has partnered with UNICEF to promote the rights of children, support national literacy campaigns and develop teaching and training materials for Saharawi refugee women.
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Updated 20 January 2008 -->

We should move forwards not backwards, shouldn't we?

Thinkging about progress, religous progress, now in deen (faith) we should apply what we learn and move forward not after a certain struggle or hardship loose grips on our faith and move back wards right? OK example i was wearing hijab lets say for 3 years and now i took it off , another one , i was praying on and off for 3 years and now i stopped altogether. Something is wrong right? so now you notice you are slipping on little things then it becomes easier to say yes to the bigger haram elements, you start slipping with the smaller first then saying yes becomes easy and then when the bigger issues come along ,saying yes will be easy too.

So how do we self check how do we keep in line , what do we do when we realise we are slipping? how do you cope , how do you renew yourself and how often ?

Did I find it?

Is this the rainbow i have been looking for ?

its a rainbow in the grey sky .......

Taking Wealth For Granted

Allah clearly states, And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sābirin (the patient ones, ...

Having money and spending and taking it for granted, not thinking about i could loose this at any time, then its all gone.........I grew up in poverty alhamduillah. my parent are 1st generation immigrants to the UK , economic migrants, that in turn settled in the UK for a better life than the native land they left behind. Purchased a home , both worked night and day to pay the morrgage. The home was very basic , there was no bathroom , the tiolet was outside, we had a tin bath that was hanged outside in the garden and we used this every friday in the kichen for bath nights, there was no boiler , no fixed heating, times were bleak but they managed and i never recall a day when mum didn't have a meal on the table even in times of severe hardship. Now my own kids , i have based them on a modest model but i don't belive in horrding wealth, its should not sit accumalating and you go without , spend wisely ,yes , save for futre goals , yes but enjoy your blessings too.

I think over the years i have compensated for the kids not having access to certain things in life with material gain i.e. spending , i called it treating them , alhamduillah they are not greedy kids or spoilt but i feel they could do with a self check esp after making hijrah to a 3rd world countary , its may come as a very rude wake up call for them.............so this week funds have been low , rock bottom infact, so we have be coping and had to produced meals ect with little , at the same time showiing them that some people in algeria don't even have this and other places no safe drinking water..........this has made them think and has an inpact on there asking and spending. i also wanted them to take better care of the blessings they have been blessed with, in turn making them last longer. Most importantly i wanted to show them that one day they may have no wealth or there maybe times to come in their own adult lives when money is tight and they have to make ends meet. I felt cruel at first but NO!!!!!! They need to understand money does not buy happyness and we need to respect it when we have it. money does not grow on a money plant in the back room (although i wish it did sometimes lol). When in the UK my kids used to say to me when i told then i had no money on me , ''umi go to the machine in the wall , put that card in and get some from there!'' sound familiar? well that does not happen in Algeria. Wealth is a true blessing especially when you witness those without , in the Western countries it is wasted , wasted so much , this is something i was aware of but became more aware when i came to Algeria. Now i understand why these 3rd world countries say the 'Streets of London are paved with gold'' looking into the west from this life view yes i can belive it too, wealth is a very important blessing that we take for granted when we have it and respect it when we dont !!!! striking the balance is the best way to deal with this blessing inshaAllah.

De'ja voo or what?

During my first year i had no internet connection , its a shame really as there was so much more to share emotions wise ! Well there are expierences and feelings i am going through that recall my past and my own upbringging-being alone here alomst 3 years without my dh is hard but we have learned to cope , at first it was empty and extremly lonely , we all felt this void..........my emman dropped pretty quickly......this didn't help matters one bit!!!! It reminded me of my own mother and her plight after the death of my father when i was aged just 5yrs old. hw did she ever cope with us alone in a strange land , no grasp of the native language , 5 young children , no family , only inlaws that was not intrested to offer her the support she needed? suddenly there was similarities and i had an over whelming feeling of respect for my mother, not that i never respected her before but this just made me feel ''my mums a true rock'' , as my situation was not even half as severe as hers. she never gave up on us dispite encouragement from the inlaws o put us in to state care or foster homes. I have the most respect for my mum , sad thing is she may never know! In the first few months of my hijrah i cryed often for about 3 months - they was very dark days , there was 1 week in amoungst then 3 months where i suffered some sort of break down , i could not function , i cry contiously for a week (if that's at all possible) all i remember is not being able to stop the tears flowing , i was in the kitchen cooking , crying, making the beds , crying , answering the phone , crying............i just could not stop it it was like out of my control!!!! I remembered having this emotion when i gave birth to my son in 1999, after i was taken to the ward i couldn't stop crying , i was talking all normally ect but loads of tears gushing down my face , even the nurses said to me whats wrong are you in pain? I said ''NO, i don't know why i keep crying and i can't stop it!'' Eventually i went to see a Dr. who said i had very low blood pressure and i was very weak and perscribed me some royal jelly buables to drink for an instant energy boost.......after a while i was on the mend. So life began to look bleak , i began to think is this what i have let myself in for? is this my futre ? have i left behind so much for this (as shatan is very good at making you think the grass is greener on the otherside)? Again my eman was rock bottom and i was alomst distroyed alhamduilah Allah gave me the strenght again but not with out the enduring testing first.