Thoughs i need to share

Feeling out of sorts with myself again............not sure what it is i am searching for this time but feel a need to search, i think its some inner peace , some inner rest and inner contemplation. I feel a need to get in touch with my maker, a need to be more grateful, more aware , more attentive and more pious. After a hardship the ease will follow and it does, why am i finding it hard to relax and let go and enjoy the ease? Trauma springs to mind, maybe need more time to heal?