Wednesday, 28 January 2009

How life changes........

just under 6 months ago i was living out my destined hijjrah, emigration for the sake of my Lord. My new life of 3yrs and now well it's all change and Allah is the best of planners alhamduilah. My ambitions have changed, my realisation has changed, my perception of life as i know it has changed. Not all drastic change but a realisation , my life and self have under went some sort of cleansing of thoughts, perceptions and actions. While i was in Algeria i was blessed to experience the true essence of tawqual Allah, dependence and trust in my Master alone. This became the turning point in my life so far as a Muslimah. This was a total dependence on Allah for all, really letting go of the worldly matters and freeing my soul to stand alone and only depend on my Lord. It was a sweetness of faith a kinda high that i have only felt once in my life. That was when i became a Muslimah and took my testimony of faith. It's a spiritual feeling something you have to feel to understand. Crying out to my lord in my darkest hours healed me, His mercy was felt soothing me and strengthening me. In my past years as a Muslimah i though i was doing well and that i had cracked it as living a religious life to please my Lord now 15yrs on mashaAllah i can say i know where i am headed and its almost like Allah has shown me there is more you can do or there is stuff to be rectified.
life changes Pictures, Images and Photos
In the solitude of my loneliness I found my purpose in a practical application of my faith and daily life, my relationships with others around me. I learnt to deal with many hardships that really effected my well being, throughout my life. i learnt not to be too bitter for for too long with one that hurts me, i have learnt to forgive quicker. I was one who was raised in a household where the silent treatment went on for months when one fell out with one another. Maybe some of my DESI fellow bloggers can tell me if this a common occurance in a desi household. Not realising that this would later have a grave impact on my life in the ability to forgive. The bitterness of not being able to forgive blackens the heart. It really can damage your character and cause you pain. Believe me i know, not to say i never forgave as i did eventually but the time lapse could be many many months or years later sadly. I have not perfected this art down to the same 24hrs span but alhamduilah i feel i have reached a milestone in this and you know what? It feels great , great where ? within my my heart and my soul feels at ease alhamduilah, all priase is truely to my Lord.
Islamic teaching presents the prophet Muhammad as an example of someone who would forgive others for their ignorance, even those who might have once considered themselves to be his enemies. One example of Muhammad’s practice of forgiveness can be found in the Hadith, the body of early Islamic literature about the life of Muhammad. This account is as follows:
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta’if, because what they did was out of their ignorance.

Humbleness to and love for Allaah can only be actualised through worshipping Allaah in all aspects.

If any of you are like me , going through life and saying well its ok i will tackle learning to read qur'an one day soon and before i knew it 15yrs had lapsed and i still couldn't read. Yet i knew that my life span is not in my hands and that deaths last breaths could be upon my lips any day soon. I really needed my good deeds to be way up in balance from the bad deeds, after all its jannah paridise i am workingtowards. What will be the greatest abode of my exsitance ever. After all i am only passing by in this world and this zone, really i look back on life and remember as a young lady at a mere 17yrs old pondering on my life to come in my 30's, married with 2 kids living in the country, living a life based around materlism and worldly gain. Well i had lived half of my 30's..........time has escaped me really where did all that time go? Before i know it i will be old perhaps less able more, dependant on others why not cease today this moment and set goals to achieve to? Get ourselves some good deeds.

3 comments:

Haniyya said...

Assalamualaikum wr wb,

yr post on so many levels reminded me of my own spiritual journey. Eventhough alot of people may not agree, in so many words i regard myself as a convert/revert. After all eventhough i was born in a muslim household, i was never practicing. And alhamdullilah , Allah swt guided me back to the right path.

Making this hijrah was actually, something i was looking forward to. I knew it would help me make the change i needed for my deen. Islam is very much watered down back in Singapore. And i truly enjoy being part of fellow muslim sisters/bro;s who have made Islam a way of life...and not just something that is one of the aspect of their life.

And this is the only reason why i have managed to get over my homesickness, alhamdullilah. Eventhough it was somewhat almost a yr. And the first yr we moved we went through alot of Test. Inshallah i will blog about this, its on my list of post to blog . =)

And i can definitely identify with the silent treatment. lol ! Back in my jahilia days, was so hard to forgive one another. Alhamdullilah for Islam, its almost like second nature now.

UmmAbdurRahman said...

mashaAllah.

Umm Salihah said...

Assalam-alaikam Sis Rainbow,
This is a subject you keep coming back to, obviously it runs deep.

I am a big believer in forgiving and letting go (it keeps my hope alive that Allah (SWT) will forgive my sins).

I think the silent treatment can happen often in some desi homes because we are not great at sharing feelings, we are often conservative and clam up. I made the mistake of arguing with my brother over nothing as teenagers and we didn't speak properly again for years, it took a long time to create a bridge between us again.

You mention that high that comes from the sweetness of faith. I think you will experience it again insh'Allah. It's something that you get from visiting the house of Allah (SWT) - insh'Allah your turn will come soon and you feel that peace and bliss.

Prayers for Peace

Prayers for Peace