Thursday, 9 October 2008

Feeling Out Of Sorts

It's been an uphill struggle since my return and alhamduilah although i feel i am making ground. i also feel i am taking 10 or 20 steps back or maybe never took them in the first place?

So many changes , so many 'wants' and as a human being and the off spring of Adam it's no surprise 'we want it all' but in reality we 'can't have it all'', that's jannah where we can.

I am fighting an inner battle within myself and in the real world too, a battle that brings terror to my life, my thoughts and fear too but also brings me closer to my maker but then why do i loose hope? Coz i am only human maybe.

other stuff going on is my washer has packed up and decided to give up on me. So i thank Allah truly when i say i am in the UK and have the ability to attend the local laundrette for a wash ,£2.70 per Small load and a 40Min's wash and great results alhamduilah its a blessing as one year in Algeria i was without a machine for 4 months and hand washing during the winter months it was a nightmare but you get through some how. In fact its the same place we used when i was a child and all the memories of wash day came flooding back, what was the young English assistant is still there but aged about 20 years. Me and the kids actually look forward to going there , its the simple things that make me happy! I must add the wash comes up nicer too subhaAllah! I go about 2-3 times per week and with signs of me heading there my DH is sitting back and being relaxed about getting the washer sorted he has managed to get the top of and clean a blockage but i keep telling him a screw has come loose from the drum so i wait, i did right to get down the launderette otherwise we would have been clotheless now that would have been a test!
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here its is the old laundrette
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funnily enough so many years on the dry still cost 20p and the spinner 20p I think it works cheaper as at home i am paying for water and heating the water plus electric and the washes are longer .

Life is so busy here in the UK time elapses too quick for my liking i must say i miss the quality of my days in Algeria and having time to think deal with my daily life. I find people in the UK are so consumed with their own being and dare i say selfish to an extent, in the sense no one has time for one another but the sad thing is that time can be made it may mean cutting into their time but this is were selfishness appears , this really saddens me. sometimes you can be surrounded by so many yet alone Allah knows Best.

Forget to mention i got a blog award my first ever and too be honest being the off spring of Adam i always wanted one ! Hugs of dear Umm Hibaat who i had the pleasure to meet this summer, someone came to life from the blog world and felt me worthy of a visit mashaAllah.

8 comments:

Somayya said...

AsSalaam Alaikum

Oh sis, you are always worth a visit. I miss you.

Sorry to hear that you are still stuggling, but at least you are not on your own there, and have someone to share your problems with.

May Allah reward you for all your pain.

seekingtaqwa said...

definately empathise on the washing front..mine is still out and the handwashing is becoming a firm part of our daily routine...

on the selfishness front..life here is hard and there are lots of things that eat up your time and make it hard to include everyone in your daily life...sometimes it's a struggle just keeping the house and family going and when you add other things to the equation it just all becomes a bit overwhelming....you do have to make time for others but again...you need some balance otherwise it's like robbing peter to pay paul..having to steal time from one place to give to another and then at the end of the day you have yet another frazzled woman trying to please everyone....don't know what the answer is here..other than we need possibly to have lower expectations of one another
xxx

Anisah said...

Salam alaykom. May Allah lessen your strife and make things easier for you. Amin.

Ines said...

Salaams,
May Allah make things easy for you. Remember all those people worse off than us and count your blessings sis.
Btw , I want to come and visit you one day. Oh and how is the big girl doing, still lots of h/w? Take care

Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

Wa alakum aslam sisters /friends welcome
alhamduilah i am over the lack of community here in the UK and belive it was lost a long long time ago hence one point as to why i did make hijrah alhamduilah , just an observation that i blogged alhamduilah. I respect that families are important and that families come first , i am just expressing what i see and feel alhamduilah as with all societies not all and perhaps it is just a minority. Life is full of test , good and bad alhamduilah.

Ines

Still a lot but she is dealing with it and likes school so alhamduilah! We are arranging a get together on the forum perhaps E. London so perhaps we can meet then? If you want something more private let me know?

Alhamduilah to all the duas just feeling blue as we do sometimes but i have a plan in action to deal with this inshaallah!

strangerinthisdunya said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

May Allah reward you for your patience sis and having the right attitude masha'Allah. A lot of us would be moaning about not having a functioning washing machine but here you are remembering your hardship in Algeria and saying alhamdu lillah for the trek to the launderette in the UK. :)

Take care sis, Umm Ibrahim xxx

Noor said...

Asalam Alaykum, mashAllah I like your blog and I am so glad to have found it..

Umm Salihah said...

Assalam-alaikam,

Hey that launderette looks so familiar...or do all of them look the same?

I hope things get easier for you insh'Allah, are we going to meet any time soon?

Mabrook on the award -it is nice to be appreciated.

Prayers for Peace

Prayers for Peace