Monday, 15 September 2008

Assuming and Assumptions

Assuming and assumptions ,this is my rant, i feel so sad that others have to judge me. Why because i choose not to disclose details about my hardship! Why do others feel they have to know everything about ones life? if i choose not to disclose then they make there own assumptions.
I have returned to the UK as being 3yrs alone without a husband , kids without a father and a husband without a wife was enough for all so we re united alhamduilah..

Now i am getting assumptions made by others that my being away was likely to make my DH unchaste, astfirillah i have heard it all now!
others assuming i left coz i hated it , why can't my hardships be my pain , why can't my hardships be more intense in Algeria? Why does hardship mean i am unhappy?

So just for the record yes i am glad i went to Algeria it really made me , made me spiritually and mentally, the hardships were and are a test and without them, however did i think i was going to come closer to Allah.

I went to Algeria because i wanted to, not forced by a dominate , DH or otherwise all my doing alhamduillah.

Choose to come back to be togehter and tackle life's test TOGETHER inshaAllah.

Learnt a lot from Algeria yes , about me about others, good and bad.

i a just sick and tired of hearing '' i told you so'' and 'you should have never have left'' ''the UK is better ''



Anonymous said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

Oh Rainbow... I could cry for you! :( I can't believe you are having to endure this kind of gossip and assumptions from people. Don't these people realise that suspicion is haram?! La hawla wa la quwatta illa billah.

Stay strong sis - you were strong in Algeria and you can remain that way. :)

Anonymous said...

Been there, done that , got the t-shirt...I know exactly where you are coming from...don't worry , people will always talk no matter what. Your true friends will show enought understanding to make up for the others 'stupidity' (is that too strong a word to use in ramadan??~)Take care, Ines

ammena said...

salam, u tell em sis!!

UmmAbdurRahman said...

so sorry to hear that you are dealing with negative people. While i think it is best for a family to stay together, it is not right for me or anyone else to say i told you so.

You know sis, I once had a sister tell me that I should be happy my husband is an ocean away. I really love this sister and to this day it hurts me to even think about it. She was having a hard time with hers so I know where she was coming from BUT sometimes people don't know how hurtful their words can be.

alajnabiya said...

Most people like nothing better than to say "I told you so!" I hope you are having a good Ramadan otherwise.

Umm Travis said...

assalamu alaykum sis... just found your blog, thanx for stopping by mine... Im sad to hear of your turmoil, and I imagine it is extremely maddening, but hang in there. Who cares what others say, at the end of the day you are only responsible to Allah, and events such as this are great experiences for us, and shows the true character of others. I love u in Allah, and may He make your path blessed and beautiful, ameen x

Umm Salihah said...

Assalam-alaikam Sis,
I hope no comment of mine ever upset you, if so, do forgive me. At least you had the guts to make hijrah for the sake of your deen and family - how many people are willing to take such a big step?
There will always be people who take their misery and pettiness out on others - I got the same because I have to work, other sisters do because they stay at home and focus on their children and yet others because they do or do not wear hijab. We always look for fault in others when we are flawed ourselves.

Love you lots for the sake of Allah, may Allah (SWT) keep you and your family safe from the fitnah of these mean people insh'Allah.

Umm Hibaat said...

Assalaamu Alaykum,

Oh sis, no one lives your life, feels what you feel and sees what you see. Although some people may offer sincere advice, it is no one's place to assume what you're going through or to say "I told you so." Leave them be sis. Some people will always be like that. Just focus on what you need to do for yourself and your family and keep asking Allah for His Assistance. After all ONLY He knows what is and was best for you. He doesn't put you through an experience for nothing.


Sketched Soul said...

As-salaamu'alaykum wa Rahmatu Llahi wa Barakatuhu my dearest sister,

May Allah reward you for your patience. Ameen.

As long as we haven't done anything that would displease Allah.. nothing else matters :D

AlhumduliLlah, it's always better to be the oppressed, than the oppressor.

Wa'alaykum as-salaam
Love Farhana

Sonya said...

You go girl! Don't let these mindless people bother you, they obviously have nothing better to be getting on with.
I too sometimes feel judges that i am not a muslimah, but i brush these thought away, although they did used to bother me sometimes. My husband and family love me just the way i am. I believe in God, this is the most important thing.
Hope to meet you one day. Where in London are you? If you don't mind me asking :)

Warda said...

Assalaamu alaikoum,

I am so sorry to hear about your adventure. It takes a lot of courage for somebody to leave family and loved ones behind in search of its faith and identity. I admire for what You have done. There will always be people that disagree with you or judge. Just live your life, be strong and the truth will shine.

Just curious, why Algeria? Why not the Middle East?

Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

wa alakum aslam sister warda welcome to my blog!

thank you for your comments, well why not the middle East? Expense,immigration, local knowledge, work and income.

Why not Algeria? Why Algeria ? Have the advantage of the language and friends and inlaws there already, have expierence and knowledge of the countary after visiting for almost 12yrs.

I wanted to go middle east , khalej but it would have been tempoary as once you don't have a job you loose your home and income and immigration status so would have ment leaving and returning. Algeria seemed easier at the time property and land was still fairly cheep but it has seem a rise in the last 4 years more than double. immigration is fairly easy there too for forigners and i like the warm welcome the Algerians offer, some of these middle East countaries are rascist in my expierence and favour Americans , blond hair blue eyes or Brit's, not all but have seen this a lot in the khalejh, would like to try Eygpt or Sirya next maybe but convincing an algerian DH like mine is a lil hard. The way i see it had to start somewhere.

Umm Hammam said...

Assalamou alaikoum

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this! I know how hard it can be to face such thoughtfulness, but I know you're strong enough to get over it inshaAllah. Coming back after 3 years takes guts, and is sure to have been a heart-wrenching decision...
Whether you stay here forever, or go back is only for you to decide. May Allah give you His aid in all your matters...
Umm Hammam

Rainbow In The Grey Sky said...

Aslamu alaum umm hamman
welcome to my world ukti
subhanallah its only till you go through it you can understand it , Algeria is a wonderful place and i like it. It also carries its hardships as does India, Somalia ad the rest of the world , me as a Brit faced hardships and challanges that i never knew about or had the emman or skills to deal with so alhamduilah if anythingit enriched my life 10 fold and i have no regrets having made hijrah there i only gained in the value of life and my purpose alhamduilah i am so grateful to my Lord as He knows whats best for me alhamduillah!

Prayers for Peace

Prayers for Peace