Saturday, 24 May 2008
Lonely Hijrah (Evaluation Sofar)
I don’t think I ever got over the loneliness I encountered during the first 3 years as a muhajirah Allah Al Must’aan. Really this has been one of the downsides of my hijrah, the loneliness and lack of support. Mind you having said that year 3 has been the best in terms of seeing more people namely sisters ,making new friends too as I saw more this term than I did in the first two years . I also got out more this last year and felt more settled with the ability to shop and get food stuff. This last issue has to do with the mild winter and also a build up of new shopping facilities locally. Cooking has been more varied this year, is this due to becoming accustomed to the veg on offer and acquiring a taste for them? Or my oven being fixed? Offering me more variety of foods? This year seems to have zoomed by much faster than the other 2 subhanAllah but in my heart not fast enough. I am more settled than I ever was in Algeria and I have no intention to return to the UK to reclaim a life there and I ask Allah to aid my decision to say put. Having said that I ’ never say never ‘ rule one in my life, coz you never know when and where……if I was too return it would not be because I didn’t like it , it didn’t work for me , or I didn’t want to be here despite all my hardships. I know I made the right decision to come to Algeria in hindsight maybe would have most certainly preferred another country; I was more geared for the Middle East. Having lived here for 3 years now I don’t regret for a moment having come to Algeria. OK maybe not the place for you or me so it would seem but I have gained so much from this first emigration.
There is certain something that hijrah brings a blessing that I can’t explain because it’s spiritual. Just thinking had we gone else where just how hard it would have been without the local know how and support to help us establish a home ect. We have the know how here and its still very hard subhanAllah. Maybe I am getting old? 35 this year and I feel it, believe me, maybe I have reached a point in my life where being daring is beyond me now .no more young blood left lol. I’m just rambling now………………