world number day

1st March , my teen dd school held a fun day raising money for the maths department, Fancy dress and we made some cakes to sell.The number moulds I got from here I often use this place for my cake moulds, fantastic quality and great service.








Can you see the algebra sum, more to the point can you work it out?

I just want someone to listen

Every felt surrounded by people, yet you have no one to talk too? I just want to say a few lines, somewhere to someone, to get it of my chest, for someone to share my load. Knowing this revelation is not for everyone and not every one can carry this load. Who to trust, who to consider, its a private matter so not to break someones trust. in the end I walk alone, caring this burden alone and will deal with it alone. I am not alone though am I? I know no one has the answers this burden I carry alone, I find comfort in my greatest and everlasting friend Allah, its the only friend who can truly help me right now.

Visiting an friend after 8 years

Today was an early start for me, I headed into Sussex to visit an old friend who came into my live 8 years ago and stopped for 2 years and then moved cities then countries. We remained in touch best we could, by telephone, email, shortly by face book. Every time we spoke it was like had never left each other for so long mashaAllah.

This lady came into my life when I was expecting my 3rd child, at a time when the rejection of my family was still very raw. At a time I longed for a true sisterhood, a friend that really cared. My dear friend filled this description and more mashaAllah.

I recall the happy days hanging out together at her flat, the endless cups of tea we drank, the social lunch's we organised for other sisters, the Islamic talks, the fundraising, the laughter and tears we shared will remain in my memory for time to come. The support this sister showed me when I gave birth to my daughter, she made sure I had an endless stream of visitors and cooked meals mashaAllah. She never let me feel the void of my family, its almost like she replaced it in other ways. She soon became my family. Then a chance came for here to make hijrah and off she went, we cried as we parted, exchanged gift and words of wisdom but her love never left my heart. So today after 8 years I headed out of London to visit her, I got the added bonus to meet her mother and sisters mashaAllah. She had talked about them so much during those years and now they were all here in the same room. Gentle and kind mashaAllah. We were treated to a special lunch on a lovely table presented just for us mashaAllah. It was lovely to meet my friend’s family and all her new additions, 3 new children who have inherited the very kind nature of their lovely mother mashaAllah.

We exchanged stories and descriptions of our host countries of hijrah (emigration). On another note the area of Sussex was a breath of fresh air for me compared to London, its greenery, cool breeze and village like feel. Roads seemed deserted compared to London's bumper to bumper traffic. We parted on the note ''when will we meet again?'' Holding back my tears I said I don't know another 8 years?
There was a resident henna artist and my daughter had her henna done.

seasonal in pictures

It's cold outside..............

It's Never Too Late

Last Saturday saw a turning point in my life. I decided to finally go back to University to finish the BA Hons degree i once started inshaAllah. It's never easy when you are a full time mum and home maker to follow your own pursuits. Mother do make a lot of sacrifices for their families , myself I don't regret a single moment but its nice to be able to do something for me for a change!

I was so nervous to attended the open day at the University, my DD offered to come along for moral support. It turned out to be a very informative day alhamduilah. I must admit i was hesitating but going there really helped me make my mind up!

I am just working through the forms and transfre of credit forms at the moment as the good news is i can transfre my old creidts from my unfished degree to the new one.........so less to study. iam really excited about this whole new adventure and look forward to the brain food to come.

Here are some pictures we took on the day

The open day was here

Near the Olympic site an unusual bad to find in London but hey London is the city where its all at!

On the DLR

Fuel after a day of fun.

Something to be happy about

Alhamduilah (All praise is due to God), I have not been fortunate where family ties and relations have been. Disowned by part and all of my extended family 16yrs ago upon embracing Islam, this has been a very difficult time in my life but i bore it with patience best i could, to my ability. It does not mean the pain was any less, growing older myself and seeing a need for family ties and a need to belong the wounds were re-opened again. The most difficult of these relationships was the one with my brother , my only brother, 20yrs of no words exchanged, no build of a strong bond of love...........it really was a miserable state, he would often past me on the Street and blank me. about 1 month ago he turned up on my door step with his 2 daughters, i was in total shock but composed myself enough to invite him in and offer my hospitality. At first he was reluctant to sit down or even stop as he came on an errand for my mother (to drop some paper work. After a bit of chit chat he said ''OK i will have that cuppa''. He has been over a few times since just for a short visit but all the same a visit!

On Saturday when i returned home from a busy day out i found this bunch of flowers waiting for me with a lovely card.


from my enstranged sister, a peace offering so the card read, what a blessing. It got me thinking this is the first time in 20yrs my whole family are talking to me all at once mashaAllah! I never stopped praying for a reunion but Allah knew best when it was for me.


It's really strange as the card is totally fab as these very birds are the ones that used to frequent my kitchen window in Algeria and gave me such pleasure just a few days earlier i was relaying this to a group of ladies and saying how i miss them so.
My earlier , i mean when i started blogging here is about the birds and the joy they gave me when i was living in Algeria.


You see my Lord promises His slave ''verily after the hardship will come the ease''

A Rainbow In The Grey Sky

All praise is due to Allah, who creates all that exisit and maintains it!
After a glourious sunny week , its became chilly and wet on monday, a lot of londoners being caught short venturing out to work still dressed for warmer weather only for it to rain on thier parade. Living in Great Britian you kinda get used to the 4 seasons in one day weather, so don't be fooled by a sunny start!
It was quite a grey dark wet and cold day, then later in the eveing not long before sunset i noticed this gleem of joy !

A Rainbow on my doorstep!


That stands out in all its glory and brightness and puts a smile on your face and can only strenghten my realtionship with my creator.

Tagged and awarded

I have honestly been guilty of neglect of my blog as i have favoured FB just recently but iam back on with an award and a tag.

First the awards

Much to my shame i have forgotten who gave me this one , its been a while sorry.

There is another but the link didn't work for me
http://o0ummhasan0o.blogspot.com/2009/02/companions-award-tag-check-in-here.html
perhaps ummhassan can tell me something about this?

I would like to thank everyone who reads and supports my blog , i can't imagine come here with out you ladies. Thank You

Now for the tag, there is nothing like a tag to bring you back after a blog absence
Happy Muslim Mamma tagged me here


Here are the rules of this tag:

1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom). Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. Remember you are a good mom!

2. Remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be. Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you!

My answers:
1. I feel bad that i don't give my kids enough hugs and tactile affection.
2. Humm well i love their company, i love their sense of humor, i love it when they are kind, i like it when they are thoughtful, when they want to learn, I like going on hols with them, I love them for all they are mashaAllah.
3.Independent Learners
Chasing Children and recipes
Strangerin this duniyyah

How life changes........

just under 6 months ago i was living out my destined hijjrah, emigration for the sake of my Lord. My new life of 3yrs and now well it's all change and Allah is the best of planners alhamduilah. My ambitions have changed, my realisation has changed, my perception of life as i know it has changed. Not all drastic change but a realisation , my life and self have under went some sort of cleansing of thoughts, perceptions and actions. While i was in Algeria i was blessed to experience the true essence of tawqual Allah, dependence and trust in my Master alone. This became the turning point in my life so far as a Muslimah. This was a total dependence on Allah for all, really letting go of the worldly matters and freeing my soul to stand alone and only depend on my Lord. It was a sweetness of faith a kinda high that i have only felt once in my life. That was when i became a Muslimah and took my testimony of faith. It's a spiritual feeling something you have to feel to understand. Crying out to my lord in my darkest hours healed me, His mercy was felt soothing me and strengthening me. In my past years as a Muslimah i though i was doing well and that i had cracked it as living a religious life to please my Lord now 15yrs on mashaAllah i can say i know where i am headed and its almost like Allah has shown me there is more you can do or there is stuff to be rectified.

In the solitude of my loneliness I found my purpose in a practical application of my faith and daily life, my relationships with others around me. I learnt to deal with many hardships that really effected my well being, throughout my life. i learnt not to be too bitter for for too long with one that hurts me, i have learnt to forgive quicker. I was one who was raised in a household where the silent treatment went on for months when one fell out with one another. Maybe some of my DESI fellow bloggers can tell me if this a common occurance in a desi household. Not realising that this would later have a grave impact on my life in the ability to forgive. The bitterness of not being able to forgive blackens the heart. It really can damage your character and cause you pain. Believe me i know, not to say i never forgave as i did eventually but the time lapse could be many many months or years later sadly. I have not perfected this art down to the same 24hrs span but alhamduilah i feel i have reached a milestone in this and you know what? It feels great , great where ? within my my heart and my soul feels at ease alhamduilah, all priase is truely to my Lord.
Islamic teaching presents the prophet Muhammad as an example of someone who would forgive others for their ignorance, even those who might have once considered themselves to be his enemies. One example of Muhammad’s practice of forgiveness can be found in the Hadith, the body of early Islamic literature about the life of Muhammad. This account is as follows:
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta’if, because what they did was out of their ignorance.

Humbleness to and love for Allaah can only be actualised through worshipping Allaah in all aspects.

If any of you are like me , going through life and saying well its ok i will tackle learning to read qur'an one day soon and before i knew it 15yrs had lapsed and i still couldn't read. Yet i knew that my life span is not in my hands and that deaths last breaths could be upon my lips any day soon. I really needed my good deeds to be way up in balance from the bad deeds, after all its jannah paridise i am workingtowards. What will be the greatest abode of my exsitance ever. After all i am only passing by in this world and this zone, really i look back on life and remember as a young lady at a mere 17yrs old pondering on my life to come in my 30's, married with 2 kids living in the country, living a life based around materlism and worldly gain. Well i had lived half of my 30's..........time has escaped me really where did all that time go? Before i know it i will be old perhaps less able more, dependant on others why not cease today this moment and set goals to achieve to? Get ourselves some good deeds.

To the home sick desi

I am looking for the sister who left a comment but i can't find it , blogger really sucks when you can't do that after you publish a comment. She told me she is getting through her home sickness and made the tagine dish but spiced it up. Post here again so i can find you blog please. It's nice when the lurking readers come out, 1yr is a long time and to stay so quiet. Do call again , i am waiting.

Random pictures

Just a hairy house i wanted to share with you.

Assuming and Assumptions

Assuming and assumptions ,this is my rant, i feel so sad that others have to judge me. Why because i choose not to disclose details about my hardship! Why do others feel they have to know everything about ones life? if i choose not to disclose then they make there own assumptions.
I have returned to the UK as being 3yrs alone without a husband , kids without a father and a husband without a wife was enough for all so we re united alhamduilah..

Now i am getting assumptions made by others that my being away was likely to make my DH unchaste, astfirillah i have heard it all now!
others assuming i left coz i hated it , why can't my hardships be my pain , why can't my hardships be more intense in Algeria? Why does hardship mean i am unhappy?

So just for the record yes i am glad i went to Algeria it really made me , made me spiritually and mentally, the hardships were and are a test and without them, however did i think i was going to come closer to Allah.

I went to Algeria because i wanted to, not forced by a dominate , DH or otherwise all my doing alhamduillah.

Choose to come back to be togehter and tackle life's test TOGETHER inshaAllah.

Learnt a lot from Algeria yes , about me about others, good and bad.

i a just sick and tired of hearing '' i told you so'' and 'you should have never have left'' ''the UK is better ''

GET A LIFE PEOPLE and LEAVE MINE ALONE

Everything Happens For A Reason

by Leap Of Faith aka Temps

*-Written for a contest.-*


"Everything happens for a reason."
Oh, how the quote expatiates in my mind.
It is what I live by each day -
my life motto; what I deem.

It is the truth as to why things transpire -
the way that they do.
It elucidates life in it's entirety-
whether it be for the better or the worse.

Every heart that gets shattered -
shatters for a reason.
Every tear that is shed -
sheds for a reason.
Every lie that is told -
is told for a reason.

Although life is full of plenty of hassles,
Don't frown when you stumble on them.
Look within yourself and you'll really see-
Everything truly does happen for a reason-
And rather than crying and being sad,
Find the happiness within, and smile.

The Return

my heart is in 2 pieces and my head in much more , my limbs just do what they are told, its that time
need to get my act together and i mean emotional and physically too. I will feel better once i have done the goodbyes , checked in with all bags and on that plane inshaAllah. Well i get to check out the new terminal 5 , with all its added baggage prob's.

count down to return has began..........

It is my last 10 days and i feel sad, i hate these returns and come backs its like leaving all over again for the first time esp when i have had such a great time subhan Allah. I have been mentally preparing myself and the kids for the imminent return inshaAllah, has to be done subhanAllah. i feel like i have given myself in 3weeks what i lacked in 3yrs subhanAllah. I have yet reached another milestone in this hijrah experience. being here in the west and meeting sisters yesterday all have a different stance on hijrah, i was advised yesterday when talking about my own hijrah and calling it a hijrah, that i was wrong as the siter said there is no hijrah after the prophet Muhammad migration, as these lands of Islam are not!! I was a lil confused and thought afterwards well in surah al nisa verse 99 it tell us to make hijrah if able, also that islam is for all time then and now subhan Allah. typically me always think of things after..........also i was warned by a sister about attending this conference yesterday subhanAllah , she was telling me , this speaker has self confessed takfri, this one is of biddah Allah Al Must'aan to that!!!! Well i am happy to say no biddah was asked of me , no takfir was announced , no deviance was encouraged alhamduillah , infact the oppiste on each account , being away for so long and returning to the Islamic community in the UK highlighted the vast segregation amongst the ummah itself, i have forgotten just how prevalent this was or had it become more since my absence?

A taste of winter

It snowed at 6.15am this morning and i watched the snow fall tucked up in bed, i watched with much pleasure subhan Allah, it was sure cold bitterly infact but i loved to feel it as its been a long time since i felt this cold subhanAllah. Even the chesnut tree in the garden next door is stripped of its green glory and all that remains is chestnuts hanging in the bitter wind.

make up/ looking good

just wondering who wears make up and makes an effort to look good for dh or yourself or have you let yourself go? i like to try to dress up when i can as it is very easy to let yourself go esp after motherhood ect did you make up as a teen and then after marriage let yourself go? I feel this is an important issue and we should make some effort to look good when we can

Got Away To the UK

well i am here , i am in the UK alhamduilah. It's raining and grey but you know what? I don't mind not even for a single instant , i am just glad to be here amoungst family and dear friends who are like family masha Allah. i have been here 2 days so far but its been all go , my intention is to relax and chill with family ect but i am just getting the chores out of the way first.

When i first arrived i was all excited to be returning ect within hrs well less than i soon realised why i had left its so materialistic here , its all about spend spend spend , eveything is so readily avalible subhan Allah. Anyhow its only day 2 so i am taking it easy after all i am suposed to be resting.

Where is my dad?

My dad died when I was around 5yrs old coming on 6yrs old. It was sudden as he was travelling abroad with my elder sister (who was 13yrs old) at the time to India to visit his parents. I only have a several memories of him and they had faded over the years, the most vivid being when he was leaving for that trip, I was sleeping upstairs and I was awoken to all the commotion downstairs, it was around 5.30am, suitcases were being loaded into a car, voices had awoken me, I came down the stairs as I got to the last step I saw my dad, he kissed me on my forehead and said to be good for mum. With a cuddle he left, I stood there alone, cold, looking at the front door close. Mum told me to go back to bed but I said I didn’t want to, I don’t remember the rest but what I do remember is it was the last time I ever saw him again, my dad was gone forever. I remember days latter playing out side in the front porch , a motor bike pulls up and its some sort of courrier and he is asking for my mum by name and we say yes , he hand us an envelope , looks like a letter. We rush it in to mum, she is illiterate so she says take it to a neighbour and see what it says as my sister was able to read telegram on the envelope. We go next door to Sue but she sends us to Keith, Keith consults his wife and they ask who is Mr. ------------- we say my dad , Keith and his wife look worried now they go to the Mauritian family a few doors away, they are speaking in a low tone I cant make it out. They then tell us to go and get the phone number of a family memeber who speaks English like extended family, an uncle. It didn’t make sense at the time but it does now. They understood the telegram it was just one sentence of a 4 words we just couldn’t make out what deceased meant it read Mr…………… is deceased. Now the people we knew would not tell us, I remember saying we just don’t know what deceased means you can explain it to us so we can tell mum. The rest is a blur I don’t know if I have blocked it out or I was not present. Next thing I recall is what feels like weeks of car loads of people coming and going for weeks and we , us kids was put upstairs in a room and left their most part of the day when the mourners were here. I never saw mum after that not for a long time days, weeks, and then months 10 to be exact. Thing is none told us what was happening, no one told us your dad is dead. I was left to piece it together myself, my older brother and sister had worked it out but didn’t realise what it really meant and I remember them telling dad is dead and smiling. So the mourners kept coming , we was upstairs in the room directly above them, we could hear them laminating and crying , this was frightening and disturbing, I didn’t understand why they was doing this and where was my mum. We were surrounded by aunts’ loads of aunts, the whole extended family to be exact so I didn’t give mums absence to much thought. Then I remember one night while sleeping mum moving around the room to each child and I asked her what she was doing she said nothing , she said I am leaving u all a chocolate under your pillow and you are to eat this when u wake up ok. I must have dropped off, then we awoke and ate our chocolates and looked around for mum but she was not there, then someone said mums gone to india and we all started to cry alone (the idea of the chocolate was when we realised mum was gone we wouldn't be sad at the sight of the treat, which in all fairness did work for a mo). My aunt appeared and told us mum had gone to India and we were going to be staying with her indefinitely. That was it we was never told, never sat down and explained too, I never mourned my dad we just got on with it. We lived with my aunt for 10months in another area but we kept our school and she paid someone to drive us each day. My days at my aunts was days of fun and happiness, my four cousins and the 5 of us 9 kids imagine my poor aunt but she fed and kept us all well. There is still a void in this whole episode of my life , there is still something that i feel but can't explain.