make up/ looking good

just wondering who wears make up and makes an effort to look good for dh or yourself or have you let yourself go? i like to try to dress up when i can as it is very easy to let yourself go esp after motherhood ect did you make up as a teen and then after marriage let yourself go? I feel this is an important issue and we should make some effort to look good when we can

meeting cyber friends in reality

I went online for the first time ever in October 2006 , due to changes in my life and inabilty to access certian social aspects of life, a dear friend suggested i get online and join a forum initailly to have some formof social life , it was all new to me and i was not a techie type. Now years on mashaAllah i have met great sisters and friens far and wide, i have met a few , its great coz when we meet a lot of the ground work has been done online and its like hanging out with an old mate, subhan Allah i feel so relaxed and at ease. Well anyhow i met kate today , i have met her before last summer but we encountered one another online intially. We had a good gas and chat over a cupa, ofcourse the time flew and was not long enough , I even ended up applying make up to her eyes just like teenagers on a sleep over mashaAllah. You know what alhamduillah for life's blessings, good sisters/friends are defo one of them

Got Away To the UK

well i am here , i am in the UK alhamduilah. It's raining and grey but you know what? I don't mind not even for a single instant , i am just glad to be here amoungst family and dear friends who are like family masha Allah. i have been here 2 days so far but its been all go , my intention is to relax and chill with family ect but i am just getting the chores out of the way first.

When i first arrived i was all excited to be returning ect within hrs well less than i soon realised why i had left its so materialistic here , its all about spend spend spend , eveything is so readily avalible subhan Allah. Anyhow its only day 2 so i am taking it easy after all i am suposed to be resting.

Mosque Under Construction

I visit my local mosque 2 days per week alhamduillah. Now this mosque has been majority built by the funds of local residents. So its a very basic and slow progressing mosque. Inside its a shell really no tiles just raw cemented floors. Its very basic and simple mashallah yet it thrives with classes and worshipers mashaAllah. when i arrive on mondays the volunteers are there before me and they are cleaning and mopping the areas after the weekend. Often there is a cloud of cement dust that is lingering in the air upon arrival i see most women coughing but noone complains , they just sit down and get on with the class while i sit there feeling this is not healthy, this is not right , such old women and young with conditions of asmaha and algeries should not have to be subjected to this. Often the floor is cold and i myself suffer with back pain from sitting on it for long pierods , than i look at my fellow students elderly women, who have much poorer health than me but they never complain. Subhan Allah when i think back to the air conditioned mosques of the UK , carpeted , central heated, chairs avalible masha Allah. Made me think do we really utilize oppurtunities when thet arise properly, like most we take it for granted , when i could have learnt i didn't now when i want to learn the environment is bad for my health.

what am i trying to say ? cease the oppurtunity?

In need of a get away

Ever felt you just need to run and run , to get away even if its momenteraliy? Well i feel this i need a break, i actually started blogging this a few weeks ago but i have been otherwise mentally absorb to return here so i have a few saved in drafts . i wanted to get them published today!!!!

I feel like iam in need of a change of scence and change of view for abit , with a school holiday emminent, feels like the right time to dispear for abit, 4 walls fever for 2 1/2weeks can't even begin to think about it.

Where is my dad?

My dad died when I was around 5yrs old coming on 6yrs old. It was sudden as he was travelling abroad with my elder sister (who was 13yrs old) at the time to India to visit his parents. I only have a several memories of him and they had faded over the years, the most vivid being when he was leaving for that trip, I was sleeping upstairs and I was awoken to all the commotion downstairs, it was around 5.30am, suitcases were being loaded into a car, voices had awoken me, I came down the stairs as I got to the last step I saw my dad, he kissed me on my forehead and said to be good for mum. With a cuddle he left, I stood there alone, cold, looking at the front door close. Mum told me to go back to bed but I said I didn’t want to, I don’t remember the rest but what I do remember is it was the last time I ever saw him again, my dad was gone forever. I remember days latter playing out side in the front porch , a motor bike pulls up and its some sort of courrier and he is asking for my mum by name and we say yes , he hand us an envelope , looks like a letter. We rush it in to mum, she is illiterate so she says take it to a neighbour and see what it says as my sister was able to read telegram on the envelope. We go next door to Sue but she sends us to Keith, Keith consults his wife and they ask who is Mr. ------------- we say my dad , Keith and his wife look worried now they go to the Mauritian family a few doors away, they are speaking in a low tone I cant make it out. They then tell us to go and get the phone number of a family memeber who speaks English like extended family, an uncle. It didn’t make sense at the time but it does now. They understood the telegram it was just one sentence of a 4 words we just couldn’t make out what deceased meant it read Mr…………… is deceased. Now the people we knew would not tell us, I remember saying we just don’t know what deceased means you can explain it to us so we can tell mum. The rest is a blur I don’t know if I have blocked it out or I was not present. Next thing I recall is what feels like weeks of car loads of people coming and going for weeks and we , us kids was put upstairs in a room and left their most part of the day when the mourners were here. I never saw mum after that not for a long time days, weeks, and then months 10 to be exact. Thing is none told us what was happening, no one told us your dad is dead. I was left to piece it together myself, my older brother and sister had worked it out but didn’t realise what it really meant and I remember them telling dad is dead and smiling. So the mourners kept coming , we was upstairs in the room directly above them, we could hear them laminating and crying , this was frightening and disturbing, I didn’t understand why they was doing this and where was my mum. We were surrounded by aunts’ loads of aunts, the whole extended family to be exact so I didn’t give mums absence to much thought. Then I remember one night while sleeping mum moving around the room to each child and I asked her what she was doing she said nothing , she said I am leaving u all a chocolate under your pillow and you are to eat this when u wake up ok. I must have dropped off, then we awoke and ate our chocolates and looked around for mum but she was not there, then someone said mums gone to india and we all started to cry alone (the idea of the chocolate was when we realised mum was gone we wouldn't be sad at the sight of the treat, which in all fairness did work for a mo). My aunt appeared and told us mum had gone to India and we were going to be staying with her indefinitely. That was it we was never told, never sat down and explained too, I never mourned my dad we just got on with it. We lived with my aunt for 10months in another area but we kept our school and she paid someone to drive us each day. My days at my aunts was days of fun and happiness, my four cousins and the 5 of us 9 kids imagine my poor aunt but she fed and kept us all well. There is still a void in this whole episode of my life , there is still something that i feel but can't explain.

What shapes us?

Looking back on life and childhood , experiences, feelings, thoughts, relationships, happy times , painful times, heart breaking times, educational, encounters, love, paralysing fearful times, desprate,timid, flushed,disillousioned,logical, achieventments, fashion, downfalls, hurt,more love, disappointment, regret, positive, negative, extreme, anger, pondering, dangerous, tears, empty, illegal, adrenalin rush,evil,unloved,closeness, peaceful times, hospitalisation, Allah, death, theft, intoxicating times,lonely,violent , kindness, maternal, hope, uniting, letting go , imagination these are some of the experiences from the cycle of life that we will pass through or experience and our own encounters of each sense and how we expiernced it and drew from it goes towards the shaping of us, you and me.


Above I have snatched words from some significant life experiences I have under gone these words describe the shaping of me each word describes and event. What has helped shape you? Lets pick a word and talk about an avent.

Playing the waiting game..............

Don't you just hate playing the waiting game, feeling anxious , trying to observe sabr , trying to keep your sanity in the process, thinking , stressing, scratching, hoping for answers, soultions, a way forward but at the back of the mind you can't help feeling

Then you realise your heart is not at peace? your soul is wronged? Where am i lacking, sometimes as humans we loose hope, we fail to see beyond our gloom, rather than to work with it, we fail to realise its a purification for our souls. Almighty Allah says, [And whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest] (Ar-Ra`d 13:28).

This clearly shows that everyone can be affected by reading the Qur'an. Understanding it gives it extra flavor. Yet, by just reading it can provide complete satisfaction and rest to the heart, and it is known that the heart is the station for further reflection.Through tazkiyah comes spiritual health and morality.One of the most important constituents of tazkiyah is thikru Allah (remembrance of Allah). Thikru Allah or simply thikr is a term used to reflect a collection of ways in which a Muslim remembers, lives, and attains closeness to Allah in his heart and himself. The word remember alone does not reflect the meaning of the word thikr. Thus, thikr is more than recollection of something in memory. Thikr is a training institution that helps develop people with enlightened hearts, totally occupied with Allah and His attributes. Allah told us:

"Say (O Muhammad): Truly, Allah leaves to stray whom He will (as a result of their choice of going astray), but He guides to Himself those who turn to Him in penitence, those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah, for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." Qur’an, 13:27-28.
"Verily, faith in your hearts wears out, just as clothes do. So ask Allah to renew faith in your hearts."

Thikr utilizes the signs of Allah and His creations as means of recollection and contemplation. The attributes, the Merciful, the Wise, the Pure, the Able, the King, the Cherisher, the Gracious, the Exalted, the Dominion, and the Master are a few of the attributes from which the spiritual nourishments of a pious believer are drawn.

Just go and contemplate this and think about it.

Thinking Aloud

Brain is ticking on over time and I am in a reflective mood just wondering what I am doing what am I achieving esp. with the kids , I feel like they are lacking , they are missing out , I am not doing a good enough job where the deen is concerned. Need to make changes need to establish new routines? This is becoming a big stress for me as I am loosing time, each day they are growing time is slipping away, their lives and the way they live them is not the vision I had for life after hijrah. I feel the school life here takes up too much of their life time. They study 8am-3pm 4-6pm tuition most days per week. (Don’t forget the daily homework) 8pm bed now that’s the day!!!!! They study 6 days per week only having Friday as the 1 whole day off, this day is spent by me washing school clothes ready and dried, ironed for the next day, cooking a special meal as it’s the only whole day we have together, daily housework, making sure everyone has a ghusal before jummah and off to the masjid for jummah salat. The day is lost – the day was not spent with my kids in the way I wanted to , they never had my full attention , they never got the quality me or time I wanted , that I never seem to get these days with them , I am getting the grumpy and tired kids .

I am feeling lost inside a maze and my kids are slipping away into this world of secular education , that is dominating their lives………………..I don’t see an Islamic identity as strong as is was and this worries me , as they are seeing their peers more than me it seems and identifying more where culture of Algeria is concerned after all they are Algerian, I feel they need to be around a more pious and God fearing model daily as school is doing little for their deen, after all its what we are here for right ? I mean in this world, think about it what life is better to prepare for this one or the next? Look at this way which life will you give more energy? A life that last say 100yrs tops (if you are blessed) or eternal? Where, which life are your energies going to be focused at? Got it, yes the eternal life no doubt!!!!!!! In need to make rapid changes and stop making excuses or I am going to loose these babies to culture and routine, this worries me, no free thinking disables the mind. If I had my way I would put them into Islamic schooling systems inshaAllah at least that way they are learning deen along side secular studies in an Islamic environment rather than a cultural one. Need answers and need them fast as time is running away form my kids the tender years are passing Allah Al Mus’taan.

More Happyness

Another reason to be happy …………spring is almost upon us in Algeria (usually around the end of February) , the sun is out most of the day , the wind is a little nippy but its nice subhanAllah. As Algeria is a very humid country esp. in areas by the sea, humidity, mould and condensation are just a few of the things we have to deal with. In the autumn and winter months Algeria is very dull due to the lack of sunshine, I firmly believe Algeria is a better place in the sun. Whereas I liked the UK better when it was grey and raining .I don’t like the summer sun , its way too hot subhan Allah but I like the spring sun as its just right but can get very hot. Algeria seems abetter place with the sun in tow, washing dries quicker as in the winter months its can take 3-5days with all the dampness around. The rugs go up for the summer ahead which equals less dusting ect , the list goes on……… Now the spring in Algeria is a very special time for me as I await the return of my friends in the form of birds………beautiful wild birds that bring me so much joy mash Allah. They appear on the window ledge and tap at the glass, that’s this one the blue tit, its colours are so deep and fresh.

The other is the Robin Red Chest now he makes me smile and feel nostalgic as in the UK growing up as a child , I read so many a story book with robins in them , the red robin, he reminds me of the winter. His legs are so thin and skinny, yet his body is big and fluffy.

Each bird has its distinctive chirp and I am able to recognise them by sound alone, there are other birds too with bright luminous colours that the eye has never witnessed. I am not a bird watcher believe me but I have taken up this pastime come spring each year. The birds are so pretty and really brighten my mood and day , I feel subhan Allah what hidden beauties I have never seen before , I never thought something so simple would bring me so much joy mash Allah.

These birds are more vigilant than the general wild birds, the robin does not stay still to long as soon as he senses me behind the glass, and he is off. Whereas the blue it stays and taps and even whilst I am pottering around in the kitchen stays to eat the food I have left him on the ledge. The wonders of Allah’s creations Al Khaliqh, never ceases to amaze me subhan Allah.

I am Happy Al-hamduillah

I felt the need to let everyone know I am happy alhamduillah as after a recent comment left on a post, it got me thinking perhaps I post too much gloom and doom and not enough happy postings. This prompted me to say a little why I am blogging and what I blog.

I am happy to have been blessed with the chance to make hijrah alhamduillah, like any major change in life hijrah has not come without its test in more ways than one. Life is full of good and bad, the experiences we gain from life’s test makes us or breaks us. I am here to share with you an insight into my life and the world around me as I see and feel it. There is no right and wrong here as we all are as different as people so what I feel is not what you will feel but someone might.

I decided to make hijrah a very long time ago as a teenager in fact, I was not a muslimah at the time but I wanted out of the west for very similar reasons as I believe in today as a muslimah. I have been mentally and physically preparing for 14yrs to come to live in Algeria. It was always my decision, my choice, if anything I encouraged my DH not that he needed much encouragement alhamduillah.

I had many dreams and aspirations for myself and in later years for my children and DH (as a family) visions and dreams, goals and achievements, expectations that never materialized. What I expected of Algeria and its people never emerged and what I didn’t want or expect did!!!! So what now? In between this mess I have to find a life, establish happiness, and create a path forward. Happiness is a blessing that not all are blessed with. Hardships are a blessing that not all are tested with; its striking the balance is what it’s all about for me. Contentment is a restraint and is a hold back for furthering oneself and ambitions. If there is one thing I have discovered is that there is nothing like a hijrah to test ones intentions and happiness subhanAllah. I find shatan work harder in Muslim lands to mislead the people. My test are visible and hidden, I am just here sharing my thoughts and feelings, as a British Asian Ex Pat, Revert Muslimah alahmduillah, that’s what it’s about the good and the bad. It’s all about me and how I perceive it.

Missing The Past

owww it hurts I don't know why but I find this time of year I get extremly home sick subhan Allah. Its places , thoughts, smells,foods, and feelings that spring to mind, throughtout the day images appear in my mind to torment me of a place a memory. Then i know this is home sickness for sure , suddenly nothing tastes good here, everything becomes a chore, i can't be bothered , i battle with my emtions to remind myself , that life is now past and i need to find new comforts , new memories , new smells, new feelings here , for now i recall only pain. Not to say there have no been happy times , there have but the pain dominates my memories here so far. so I am kinda moping around just putting on a smile for others , dont want to spread my gloom to all esp the kids, making the effort for the sake of Allah knowing

WITH HARDSHIP COMES EASEAnd, behold, with every hardship comes ease. Verily, with every hardship comes ease! Hence, when thou art freed [from distress], remain steadfast, and to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.Holy Quran, Chapter 94, Verses 5-8

and belive me this is true as alhamduilah in the past i have exiperenced the effects of this ayat (verse), its only we loose hope!

I went to visit my sister who was crying

I mangage to get out to see the sister who has been crying for 2.5yrs now, isolated and lonely in her shell. Almost abandoned , the visit i felt was a great sucess for all , another sister Emma (not real name), went with me , who herself has and is suffering. Why are the sisters suffering so much in Algeria? There is no support in place and Algeria can be a pretty lonely place esp for the ex pat community , who have a different culture and no family support, often no friends. The emman subsides and that opens a way for shatan to have a ever tightening hold on the person. Lonelyness is a state of illness, that hurts. Ever felt your surrounded by so many people but your still lonely? your emman is still low? We all need encouragement and good role models esp when we feel we are no more....................

Everyone Seems To Feel Tierd

It seems eveyone in the household is sleep deprive here this last week , Why ? Stress, Exams i just don't know seems to be adult and kids alike, two couldn't get up for schoool and are in bed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so i decided to let them sleep it off for the morning and catch up on the sleep they need! Now sleep is very imprtant for various reason here are some:

Six reasons not to scrimp on sleep, from Harvard Women’s Health Watch
BOSTON—A recent survey found that more people are sleeping less than six hours a night, and sleep difficulties visit 75% of us at least a few nights per week. A short-lived bout of insomnia is generally nothing to worry about. The bigger concern is chronic sleep loss, which can contribute to health problems such as weight gain, high blood pressure, and a decrease in the immune system’s power, reports the Harvard Women’s Health Watch.
While more research is needed to explore the links between chronic sleep loss and health, it’s safe to say that sleep is too important to shortchange.
The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:
Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.
Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.
Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.
Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.
Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.
Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

What does Islam say about the importance of sleep?

sura nabaa(the great news)no. 78 (verses 6-16)
6. "have we not made the earth as a (wide) expanse?"7. "and the mountains as pegs"8. "and we created you in pairs,"9. "and we made your sleep for repose,"10. "and we made the night as a covering"11. "and we made the day for (seeking) livelihood,"12. "and we built above you seven firmaments"13. "and we made (therein) a blazing lamp,"14. "and we sent down from the clouds water in abundance"15. "that we may bring forth thereby grain and plants,"16. "and gardens of luxurious growth?"
thus, the term "subat" narrowly refers to the stopping of most of man's physical and mental activities when he sleeps. the very temporary stopping of activity causes refreshment and improvement for the tired organs, strengthening the soul and the body, renewing one's pleasure, removing any fatigue and uneasiness, and consequently, making man ready to start working again.though one-third of the human beings' lifetime is occupied by sleep and they have always been entangled with the question of `dreams', still they wonder about the mysteries of sleep. even yet, it is not exactly known why that at a special moment the mind fails to work well, the eyelids droop and all the limbs come to a peaceful state. but, one thing is definitely known and that is: sleep is of great importance to one's health, and that is why psychiatrists try to make their patients' sleep normally and regularly, because it is impossible to cure them without it.those who do not sleep enough are pale, withered, nervous, and dull. on the contrary, those who sleep normally, when they rise they feel, in themselves, much pleasure and vitality. after a tranquil sleep, study progresses very quickly and mental activity and physical endeavors are often more successful. these facts show the important functional role of sleep in man's life. there are few tortures, for a person, that are as painful as compulsory sleeplessness. experiments have shown that man's tolerance for lack of sleep is very little and soon he loses his health and becomes sick. the aforementioned statements about the importance of sleep mean, of course., a balanced sleep, because, over sleeping, like gluttony, is one of the graceless behaviors which causes various sicknesses. it is interesting that there is not a certain time limit for the natural length of sleep in all persons, but everyone should find the amount of sleep that one needs regarding his physical and mental activities and according to one's own experience. and stranger still is when human beings are placed in a difficult situation where they must stay awake for a long time. their perseverance for sleeplessness increases, temporarily, so that sometimes they decrease their sleep to one or two hours, but it has often happened that when the circumstances have changed, man, both spiritually and bodily, has demanded the recompense of that sleeplessness and has taken it back. there are, of course, a few rare individuals who are able to go without continuous sleep, for months at a time. in contrast, there are some people who fall asleep even when they are walking on the street or when they are speaking with another person. surely, this state is very dangerous for them, especially if there would be no one to look after them. obviously, these kinds of people are sick and sooner or later they will be faced with physical and spiritual difficulties. in short, this wonderful characteristic, which appears in man and is called `sleep', contains many mysteries and is perceived as a 'miracle''. although the above mentioned verse is about `sleep', as a divine blessing, it seems that death, and wakefulness could, also, symbolize resurrection, so the verse could be a hint to both of them. then, again, concerning sleep, it speaks about the blessing of`night' and says: "and we made the night as a covering". following immediately after that, it says: "and we made the day for (seeking) livelihood". contrary to the duelists (because of being uninformed about the secrets of creation, where they thought that the light of day is good and the darkness of night is evil and they believed in a separate god, for both of them, while thinking that the former originated from `god' and the latter from satan) we should give a bit more thought to it, then we will recognize that both of them are great blessings and are the origin of other blessings, as well. according to the above verses, the gloom of night is a cloth and covering over the body of the earth and over all living creatures residing on it. night, compulsorily, stops the exhausting activities of the life and makes the gloom of darkness, which is actually peace, calmness, and tranquillity, dominate over everything in order to give the tired limbs a chance to recover and the gloomy spirit a chance to revive, since a good and quiet sleep is more likely to be obtained in the dark. besides this, when night comes, the sunshine disappears. if the sun were to shine continuously, all plants and animals would die from its heat, and the earth could not be a dwelling place for them. for the same reason, the holy qur'an has frequently emphasized on this matter. once, it says: "say, see you? if allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the day of judgment, what god is there other than allah who can give you a night in which you can rest?..." (sura qasas, no. 28, verse 72). and after that it adds: "it is out of his mercy that he has made for you night and day, that you may rest therein, and that you may seek of his grace...", (sura qasas no 28, verse 73).

Pain

I have had a pain in my chest pretty much all day today on the right side above the breast, its a shap pain and when i inhale i hurts. Its moving up my neck and to my shoulders , i feel tierd ,ratty and exgusted. It's called STRESS subhan Allah any pointers anyone to defuse and relax?

finally found a coat

I have been looking for a suitable winter coat for a long time now, i wear a cape styled head scarf that comes down below my knees i found wearing a coat over it defeted the puropse of the hijab, in the sense the garment is now tight and describing my body shape, not to mention the tightness around the arms and chest with the material of the cape head scarf. Also the creasing of the head scarf when removing it. I opted for wearing tight fitting cardigans under it but these are not warm enough on bitterley cold days, I think its been about 4 years i have been like this , until Ammena on her blog posted about a place she shops online Here and i had a look as the clothes there are really nice but expensive, good for the working woman modest conservative clothing yet stylish. It was also the time of the January sales ,boy do i miss the sales :( well this place has some items on sale and guess what i found a coat!!!! more in the form of a poncho

so witout further hesitation I purchased it !!! I now have it here in Algeria with me alhamduillah , its mashaAllah so lovely , warm and classy,fabric is wool fleece, only down side is it collects fluff. i noted it was made in Syria, i just love it, do you like it ?

Thinking In Life

I had a very special guest over for the last 12 days , so I was not visiting here much, time was limited. I am just thinking about life , all those painful moments , those moments when you have made the wrong choices , events beyond your control. Thinking & feeling is this pain ever going to stop!!!! Will i get through this , what ? when ?who ? why? Then time elapses and weeks , months , years later its just a mere memory .................those grey clouds have dispersed and is that a rainbow emerged in the sky? Any of that sound familiar well i have been doing some thinking and thanking Allah really, as Islam , being a practicing muslimah has helped me so much with such issues in my life , that i know without Allah and my faith would never have handled half as well as i did, also its that feeling of contentment, its a spiritual feeling that i can't explain , my heart is at peace when i am close to my Lord, i feel humble , yet this feeling is a beautiful feeling , a priceless feeling, a feeling of inner and outer peace ..............felt it anyone? also the blessing of time , if time was to stand still the pain would be relived again and again perhaps , the moving of time is a blessing , using of time wisely is a must , when you are in pain , in time you will feel better and the painful time that was once will become a mere memory.

My Sisters Cry

The last week or so have been testing in more ways than one subhanAllah. A sister who i am not necessarliy close to , rang me in pieces , crying , hysterical , depressed and basically suffering some sort of malfunction. I felt helpless as i am without a car or ability to visit her , when i know all my sister (in faith ) needed was to see a freindly face and a hug aswell as a long chat! This won't take away her worry but it will ease her situation abit inshaAllah. Allah Al Must'aan, sometimes we feel helpless but knowing that Allah is the only one who can put the situation right , so we embarked upon dua too much dua, i always say 'never underestimate the power of dua.' I took the decision to involve others to help as she is their sister too, when one person hurts the whole ummah should ache too. At the end of the day who wants to help can and who does not does not , i am not here to judge anyone that is Allah and you do it to please Allah for reward inshaAllah. There are little thoughful ways in which we can help and rememebr not everyone is so blessed to have caring people around them, not everyone has a family , not everyone is strong , not everyone can deal with there hardships alone.
You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allâh, but if you persevere patiently, and become Al-Muttaqûn (the pious - see V.2:2) then verily, that will be a determining factor in all affairs, and that is from the great matters, [which you must hold on with all your efforts]. (Aali Imran 3:186)
How many times do you say to yourself, subhna'allah, I should call that sister or at least send an email. Let me pay her a visit, drop off something to lift her spirit. Give some money, food or clohing. Share a book from my library. Invite her to a halaqah, teach her Qu'ran. Or share a smile and listen quietly. But you don't. Maybe you forget. Maybe you get busy. Or maybe you thought, well insha'allah another sister will/has/should. But could it be everyone else thought the same as you? And there she is, your sister..still waiting...Did you really hear her cry?You get word, you hear and you know. But you mute out the sound. Will your open up your ears? Your eyes? Your heart? Will you respond to your sisters call? SUGGESTED ACTIONS: ~ Purify your intention Actions are by intentions....(1) ~ Make dua for your sister There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the Angels do not say: The same be for you too. (2) ~ Give words of encouragement. Tell her to never despair of Allah's Mercy."The deen is sincerity..." (3) ~ Write her a letter or email with the suras or hadiths that can aid her with her situation. This is something she can re-read and gain benefit from again, insha'allah ~ Make dinner for her family~ Care for her children, while she takes time to nuture herself or run an errand ~ Visit your sister when sick "The rights of a Muslim upon another muslim are six...when he is ill he visits him.."(4) ~ Rush to give charity Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Book 24: Volume 9, Book 93, Number 525y: Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "If somebody gives in charity something equal to a date from his honestly earned money ----for nothing ascends to Allah except good---- then Allah will take it in His Right (Hand) and bring it up for its owner as anyone of you brings up a baby horse, till it becomes like a mountain." Abu Huraira said: The Prophet. sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Nothing ascends to Allah except good." ~ Have a long hand Translation of Sahih Bukhari Book 24, Number 501: Narrated 'Aisha: Some of the wives of the Prophet asked him, "Who amongst us will be the first to follow you (i.e. die after you)?" He said, "Whoever has the longest hand." So they started measuring their hands with a stick and Sauda's hand turned out to be the longest. (When Zainab bint Jahsh died first of all in the caliphate of 'Umar), we came to know that the long hand was a symbol of practicing charity, so she was the first to follow the Prophet and she used to love to practice charity. (Sauda died later in the caliphate of Muawiya). ~ If you give her items of clothing or household goods, make sure they are clean and in good condition. This way the recipient feels good about accepting and it shows your consideration ~ Do not remind her in the future of any good deeds you may have done for her Al-Baqarah - 2:264O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allâh, nor in the Last Day. His likeness is the likeness of a smooth rock on which is a little dust; on it falls heavy rain which leaves it bare. They are not able to do anything with what they have earned. And Allâh does not guide the disbelieving people. (Al-Baqarah 2:264) ~ Maintain her confidences ~ Remain anonymous if able (you can always just mail a money order, gift certificate for the local supermarket or store like walmart, sears ,drop a box of produce or other items on the stoop..etc) ...a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (5) ~ Encourage others to do the same A believer is like a brick for another believer, the one supporting the other.(6) Insha'allah I hope I have said a good word, and that we are open to aid our sisters anyway we are able. I'm sure I have overlooked something, so would be happy to hear what you have done, or what you know others have done, when they responded to an Amatullah's cry. With that I leave you with this final hadith: Translation of Sahih Muslim, Book 5: Book 005, Number 2219: Mundhir b. Jarir reported on the authority of his father: While we were in the company of the Messenger of Allah in the early hours of the morning, some people came there (who) were barefooted, naked, wearing striped woollen clothes, or cloaks, with their swords hung (around their necks). Most of them, nay, all of them, belonged to the tribe of Mudar. The colour of the face of the Messenger of Allah underwent a change when he saw them in poverty. He then entered (his house) and came out and commanded Bilal (to pronounce Adhan). He pronounced Adhan and Iqima, and he (the Holy Prophet) observed prayer (along with his Companion) and then addressed (them reciting verses of the Holy Qur'an): '" 0 people, fear your Lord, Who created you from a single being" to the end of the verse," Allah is ever a Watcher over you" (iv. 1). (He then recited) a verse of Sura Hashr:" Fear Allah. and let every soul consider that which it sends forth for the morrow and fear Allah" (lix. 18). (Then the audience began to vie with one another in giving charity.) Some donated a dinar, others a dirham, still others clothes, some donated a sa' of wheat, some a sa' of dates; till he (the Holy Prophet) said: (Bring) even if it is half a date. Then a person from among the Ansar came there with a money bag which his hands could scarcely lift; in fact, they could not (lift). Then the people followed continuously, till I saw two heaps of eatables and clothes, and I saw the face of the Messenger (may peace be upon him) glistening, like gold (on account of joy). The Messenger of Allah said: He who sets a good precedent in Islam, there is a reward for him for this (act of goodness) and reward of that also who acted according to it subsequently, without any deduction from their rewards; and he who sets in Islam an evil precedent, there is upon him the burden of that, and the burden of him also who acted upon it subsequently, without any deduction from their burden.References1. From Umar ibn al-Khattaab who said that Allah's Messenger sallahu alayhi wa sallam said: Actions are by intentions and there is for every person only that which is intended so he whose migration was for Allah and His messenger, then his migration was for Allaah and His Messenger, and he whose migration was to attain some wordly goal or to take a woman in marriage, then his migration was for that which he migrated. Muslim vol #3 p. 1056 #4692 2. Abu Dharr reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: There is no believing servant who supplicates for his brother behind his back (in his absence) that the Angels do not say: The same be for you too. Muslim Book 035, Number 6588: 3. From Tameem ad-Daaree (radiyallaahu 'anhu) who said that Allah's Messenegr sallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "The deen is sincerity. The deen is sincerity." We asked to whom O Messenger of Allaah?" He replied, To Allaah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk." Muslim #55 vol 1 pg 37 #984. From Aboo Hurairah (radiyallaahu 'anhu) who said that Allaah's Messenger said: The rights of a Muslim upon another Muslim are six. Tehy asked, "What are they O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "When he meets him he greets him with salaam, when he invites him he responds, when he asks for his sincere advise he sincerely advises him, whjen he sneezes and prises Allaah he asks for Allaah's Mercy for him, when he is ill he visits him, and when he dies he accompanies him (i.e his funeral). Reported by Muslim #2162 (vol 3. p 1183 no. 5379)5. Volume 8, Book 82, Number 798: Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet sallahu alayhi wa sallam said, "Seven (people) will be shaded by Allah by His Shade on the Day of Resurrection when there will be no shade except His Shade. (They will be), a just ruler, a young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, a man who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears, a man whose heart is attached to mosques (offers his compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque), two men who love each other for Allah's Sake, a man who is called by a charming lady of noble birth to commit illegal sexual intercourse with her, and he says, 'I am afraid of Allah,' and (finally), a man who gives in charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given." 6. Abu Musa reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A believer is like a brick for another believer, the one supporting the other.Muslim, Book 032, Number 6257:

Corporal Punishment In Algerian Schools

Today , well the last 4months have been a big headache as my lil girlie (aged 6yrs old) started school for the first time ever as she was homeschooled prior to that. She was so excited and really happy to be attending full time instituanal education , her dreams were soon to be shattered abelit an abusive teacher, who just can't help herself , she slaps , pulls hair , throws things at the these lil babies , why ? beacause she has got problems , at home , in her marriage , whatever , why is she bring them to school , she is ruining my childs schooling, the child cry's every morning , every eveing , at every oppurtunity at the mention of school. I have been to see the teacher twice and the head once and asked for the abuse to kindly stop!!!! Now what? it has not stopped , the child is having tantrums and this morning was too much , no more , i cant take it anymore , whats wrong with these people , do i have to go in heavy handed , is this the only language they understand? i decided after 2 warnings the teacher has not got it into her head that she can not beat my child or any other , so i decided to change the class, when i asked the head to do so , he said i was actually thinking of letting this teacher go 9the class i wanted to change to ) as she is far to abusive to the kids and i have had so much complaints!!!!!!! well that was the icing on the cake for me , so my lil girlie is better of getting slapped up by this abuser as she abuses less than the other. Allah al Must'aan , decided to google and see what came up subhan allah was suprised to see 10 pages all about abuses in Algeria hers a report seems its commonly used in the home so it is part of the norm , what ever happened to these peoples fear of Allah? here is a study by UNICEF and read for yourself , now i remeber getting beats at school as a child , the slipper was around in them days and the cane but i mean the slaps and poking and pulling hair of the record , i had 3 horrid teachers who did this to me and that was in London ,UK.
Following the end of a bloody civil conflict that dragged on for more that a decade, Algeria has made progress toward peace and stability in recent years. The government is working with UNICEF to create a protective environment for children. But violence remains a serious issue in schools and in the home.
Issues facing children in Algeria
The nutritional status of young children has not improved since 2002.
A study conducted by the Ministry of Education in collaboration with UNICEF revealed that corporal punishment is still commonly practiced in schools. Violence in schools is associated with learning difficulties and early dropouts.
School completion rates are declining. In 2005, some 500,000 teens dropped out.
A recent study on child labour revealed that more than a quarter of children are working. Many rural children work with their parents.
It is estimated that 1 out of every 20 children abuses tobacco, alcohol or drugs.
Institutional challenges in departments such as the Ministries of Health and Education have hampered the implementation of some initiatives for children. Ambitious plans to introduce maternal care and universal education for girls and boys have yet to be fulfilled.
Activities and results for children
Infant and maternal mortality rates continue to decline. Mothers and children now enjoy wider access to medical care and improved services.
Immunization coverage against the primary childhood diseases is above 80 per cent.
UNICEF and its partners are promoting water conservation in arid regions, including the Tindouf refugee camps.
Significant strides have been made to ensure that girls realize their right to an education. In the last few years, almost two thirds of high-school diploma candidates were girls.
UNICEF and the Ministry of Education have developed a new national policy that will create early childhood education programmes for children from ages three to six.
The “Child-Friendly Schools” initiative has been launched in some 40 schools. These schools aim to provide a stimulating, healthy and supportive environment for learning.
Some 650 educators have attended training sessions on strategies for preventing violence in schools.
With UNICEF support, the Ministry of Family and Women has developed a National Plan of Action for women and children affected by violence. Standard procedures and a reliable support system have been created to respond more effectively to individual cases.
UNICEF is assisting the Ministry of Justice in the implementation of a new Child Protection Code.
Algerian National Radio has partnered with UNICEF to promote the rights of children, support national literacy campaigns and develop teaching and training materials for Saharawi refugee women.
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Updated 20 January 2008 -->

We should move forwards not backwards, shouldn't we?

Thinkging about progress, religous progress, now in deen (faith) we should apply what we learn and move forward not after a certain struggle or hardship loose grips on our faith and move back wards right? OK example i was wearing hijab lets say for 3 years and now i took it off , another one , i was praying on and off for 3 years and now i stopped altogether. Something is wrong right? so now you notice you are slipping on little things then it becomes easier to say yes to the bigger haram elements, you start slipping with the smaller first then saying yes becomes easy and then when the bigger issues come along ,saying yes will be easy too.

So how do we self check how do we keep in line , what do we do when we realise we are slipping? how do you cope , how do you renew yourself and how often ?